Boys are all the same
by delusionoid
Summary: Lily was completely bored by the boys she had dated in the past. She was resigned to a romance-free existence until her interest was mildly peaked by James.
1. Chapter 1

Lily looked out the window as Greg worked on her breasts. His clumsy slobbering made her cringe internally and she thought of the repeat of Grey's Anatomy that she could be watching now. They were lying on her bed, the floral bedspread reminding her of when she used to giggle at the asexual bulges that Ken had. Barbie must have been one unsatisfied lady Lily thought smiling to herself. She'd been going out with Greg since the end of year dance, a whole summer of uninventive foreplay. Sometimes she considered giving in, just so he could finally obtain his goal, but then she had the odd thought of romantic nostalgia and decided to wait for her Prince Charming. Though he's probably shacked up with some gorgeous Swedish girl by now, or knowing her luck, just discovered he's gay. Greg was a nice guy and he did seem to care about her, he'd even said 'I love you' a couple of times, though considering that they'd been only going out for a week Lily discounted that on principle. Who could love someone after only a week?

It would always be the same thing. They'd kiss for a bit, his tongue lapping at hers, the awkward moment when their teeth collided. Then he would run his hands all over her, sometimes that would feel nice but most of the time Lily would groan and wish that he'd get to the more important stuff. And then when he eventually gathered the courage to access those private areas he would try his best. But Lily would eventually have to stop him, claiming a headache or it not being the right time. And Greg, being the sort-of gentleman that he was would stop and try and cover up his disappointment. Lily knew that she would have to break-up with him soon, but she felt bad about it and the awkward moments when they got back to Hogwarts for seventh year were not appealing. But then again, neither were Greg's attempts at seduction.

"Um… baby?" Lily ventured, Greg's insistence on pet names another reason for the eventual break-up.

"Yeah sweetie?" he asked his mouth thankfully leaving her now wet breast.

"Um, sorry about this but I need to get ready; I have to… go shopping!" Lily leaping upon the excuse like a C-grade actress leaps upon sex tape publicity.

"Oh… ok, well I can come with you if you want" he offered, as Lily did up her bra again (that had taken Greg another twenty minutes to undo).

"No that's alright, you go have fun with your friends" Lily said hoping that he'd get the hint.

After Greg left Lily sighed and looked out the window. Even though it was raining Lily decided to go shopping anyway. She did need to get some school supplies and that way her excuse wouldn't be a total lie. The familiar guilt weighed upon her as she changed into black jeans and a green jumper. Autumn was encroaching fast, another sign that she would soon be returning to Hogwarts. Lily loved Hogwarts but she also knew that the boys there were just as single-minded as Muggle boys. And they were boys, not men.

Lily had always been the dumper, not the dumpee. There would probably be a time in the future when karma would kick her in the ass for all the times that she'd broken some guy's heart, or at least his hopes of getting laid. It would always start the same. She'd be slightly enthusiastic, even hopeful, thinking that this relationship would be amazing, that this would be the one that she would remember in years to come. And then after a month or two her interest would wane and she'd be left feeling guilty and screening calls for a few weeks. The worst was when it was a fellow Gryffindor. Then not only would she have to avoid them at meal times and in the hallways but also in classes, which was difficult in practical lessons. Though, to be fair, this stage didn't last very long. The boys would move on and try to convince some other girl to sleep with them. It wasn't that every boy was in love with Lily, she just presented a challenge, her virginity was notorious at Hogwarts. The fact that she was quite good-looking also helped.

At Diagon Alley Lily quickly finished buying her textbooks and decided to have a coffee. The café that she decided upon had small armchairs to sit in, their well-worn facades adding to the charm of the place. The coffee warmed her and her rain-soaked hair dried.

James couldn't believe his luck; Lily Evans had just walked into his favourite café. He watched as she relaxed in her armchair, her bulky jumper partially hiding the curves beneath. He groaned and took off his glasses which he had used to read the book that now lay forgotten on his table. He debated whether or not to talk to her. On the one hand, Lily had always felt a substantial disdain towards him. On the other hand, he couldn't help himself.

"Hi Lily" he drawled as he came up to her. He leaned down and rested his hands on the arm rests of her chair. Lily looked up from her book and rolled her eyes. It wasn't that she was immune to his charms or good looks it was just the fact that this was overshadowed by his cocky attitude and annoying swagger (though this did highlight a very attractive feature).

"Hello James" she sighed, knowing now that she will have to put down her book.

"How's your summer been?" he asked, kicking himself for his unimaginative question.

"It's been perfect. I went scuba diving in the Caribbean and shopping in Paris" Lily snapped sarcastically, though you have to understand, it was a very good book. Count Fredrico was about to discover Emilia in his pool. Romance books were Lily's little nod to irony and the bitter realisation that her experiences of romance would only be through vicarious measures. The world is so sick sometimes.

"Okkk, so not that great, what about Greg? Still going out with him?" James tried to control the obvious reason for his question but thankfully Lily was being particularly unobservant.

"Yeah" she replied. James wondered at the dull tone to her voice but before he could ask what the problem was he saw her book.

"Soooo…. Flames of Passion, huh?" he teased, pointing at the book.

_Goddamnit! _Lily scowled and stuffed the book into her bag, her face turning the colour of her hair. _Why do I have to have the most embarrassing taste in books?_

"I will have you know that Flames of Passion is a deep exploration of the human psyche and the complex relationships that can develop between individuals" Lily said huffily, thinking to herself "_and lots of unrealistic sex that I can only dream of"_.

"Yeah sure and such beautiful phrases as 'Reginald's throbbing member pierced her quivering bud, like a bee would explore a flower'- they just love those extended metaphors, don't they?" James said chuckling, his body still towering over hers. Lily glared at him, a bit annoyed at how close his face was to hers.

"Well you seem to know a lot about them, maybe you're a fan of them as well" she retorted trying to look dignified as she tried to find her discarded shoes.

"No, alas, the glories of Count Fredrico's pulsating manhood will not be discovered by me. My mum's a fan, when I found her secret stash I was forever scarred. Never could look at her the same way again. Though, really, shouldn't it be her finding my secret stash?" he joked, his dark hair flopping over his forehead messily.

"I'm sure she didn't want to risk the deep psychological scars that would occur if she did" Lily replied, finally finding her shoes and getting up, making James step back suddenly. She looked at him and realised how close they were. She could feel his hot breath fan her face and his chest almost grazed hers. Lily blushed and muttered a quick farewell, running out of the café. James laughed to himself and went back to his book, deciding all in all that making Lily uncomfortable was well-worth his now-cold coffee.

AN- please review and tell me if you liked it or not. I've finished my final year of school and therefore have nothing to do but write fanfics and watch movies. So any communication would be greatly appreciated. :P


	2. Chapter 2

"Well he is completely hot" Suki stated, grinning at Lily.

"I'm with Greg, remember?"

"Who you can't stand"

"Yes, but still"

"Who makes you yawn when he's trying to make you come"

"Well yes… but that's not the point" Lily laughed at her friend as they walked through Kings Cross station together. Lily had already farewelled her parents, who don't understand her or her life but still try and show some interest. She had met Suki as she walked through the crowds. Suki was Lily's best friend and a Tae Kwon Do fanatic. At the moment she was on her blue belt and was obsessed with working her way up the colour spectrum of belts. Suki was half Japanese and half Iranian and liked to kick anyone who was a jerk to her or Lily. Many of Lily's stalking ex-boyfriends had been dealt with easily using one kick from Suki.

Lily had just finished telling Suki about her run-in with James Potter at the café and like all girls before them, they were trying to decode the significance of the conversation.

"Anyway, it doesn't matter, he hasn't paid me any attention since I rejected him that time in fifth year and I think something drastic would have to happen in the universe for James to look at me twice" Lily said, her droll tone completely at odds with the twinge of annoyance she felt at that memory. James had strolled up to her, asked her out and when she replied that she was going out with someone else, he just walked off and hasn't displayed any signs of lust or love since. For Lily, who though she wouldn't admit it, knew the kind of effect she had on boys, this was quite irksome.

Lily was distracted from her thoughts by Suki yelling loudly. Lily's three other friends, Amber, Rebecca and Kit had joined her and Suki. The five of them had been friends since first year and had witnessed countless crushes and break-ups (though not on Lily's part) between them. Amber was the typical blonde gorgeous girl of the group so it would be redundant to waffle on about her "curves in all the right places". She differed from your usual bimbo through her love and obsession with sports of any kind. She was responsible for the Gryffindor boys' latest obsession with football, for which Lily could never forgive her. Rebecca had mousy brown hair and was a bit of a bookworm. Sometimes Lily got the feeling that Rebecca felt slightly bitter about Suki, Lily and Amber's popularity with the boys, but it was only a hunch. Though, Suki's regular kicking of any jerk's ass did not win her any popularity points, though she did gain their respect. Kit was slightly weird, she had long black wavy hair and blue eyes and more often than not you would find her trying to talk to the mermaids in the lake. While Lily had been thinking these thoughts to aid the author in familiarising the audience with Lily's friends Suki had been telling the rest of the group about the conversation Lily had with James as they boarded the train.

"Could we please move on from Lily and James for one second?" yelled Rebecca, in an unusual display of annoyance, "does anyone want to know who the new Head Girl is?"

"Well its you, of course" Suki replied calmly.

"But…"

"Of course its going to be you Rebecca" said Amber.

"Well, yeah, but I wanted to add a little drama to the situation, a little theatricality" she said pouting.

While this was occurring the "something drastic" that Lily had mentioned previously was occurring in another part of the train.

"Don't please don't!" yelled Sirius, sobbing pathetically.

"I'm doing this for your own good" Remus said defiantly.

"But you don't understand- I love it!" Sirius wailed, having recently discovered the acting of Diane Keaton and decided to emulate her performances. Before Sirius could start waving his arms around and squealing Remus threw Sirius' ping-pong bat and ball out the window.

It had started a week before term, when Sirius had discovered it lying on the road in town. This new Muggle toy eventually became an obsession, Sirius counting the number of times he could bounce the ball off the bat. The Potter mansion was filled with the repetitive noise of a ping-pong going bouncing.

"I can't handle it any more. You've changed. This thing has bewitched you. You're obsessed with it!" Remus said dramatically, though more calmly than Sirius, having missed the Diane Keaton movie marathon.

"It was beautiful… and I was up to 367 bounces!" Sirius yelled.

This important and deeply emotional moment was interrupted by none other than James Potter. After telling them about his conversation with Lily they all had different opinions.

Peter: "Um, I guess… she likes you?"

Sirius: "She definitely wants to shag you, just go up to her in the Great Hall and say 'do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by you again?'- girls love that shit.

Remus: "Your stupidity amazes me, Sirius. Look, James, you just had a conversation with Lily, I suggest you try having another one"

Sirius, now bereft of the entertainment provided to him by the ping-pong bat and ball was formulating a plan within his head, of which, thanks to a few too many butterbeers, was significantly empty.

"I have an awesome idea" he declared. Remus groaned and shook his head, hoping that whatever it was, it wasn't too illegal.

"Let's make a bet!"

"Oh, no, remember what happened last time?" James said, cringing despite himself.

"Well, I heard that after a few months of therapy Harrison was fine!" Sirius stated happily.

"Yeah but his balls are never going to be the same, are they? Suki was pretty pissed off" Remus stated, remembering how when Suki found out about the bet between Harrison and Sirius of who could piss her off the most she went a bit mental. On the plus side, Sirius concluded that Harrison had won, since he was the one in the hospital and was very pleased when he didn't have to pay up.

"No, this one is much better" Sirius said, "here it is; if James can win Lily's affections while she's still with Greg, and by win affections I mean have sex with, then we each pay him 50 galleons"

"No way!" James shouted. "Everyone knows that Lily's a virgin- it'd be too hard, plus I think this may be going too far- what if we wrecking a good relationship?"

"I have to agree with James" Remus said laughing, "this is way too easy for us- we're bound to win. Though James if it makes you feel better Lily looks about as enthusiastic about Greg as Peter is about physical exercise".

"Very true and anyway, they've been going out for three months, this is around the time that Lily breaks up with guys" Sirius stated, "though for the purposes of the bet you have to ensure that she stays together with him".

"Ok, I have to say that's ridiculous" Remus retorted, "how is he supposed to seduce her while listing the good qualities of her boyfriend?"

"Yeah what he said" James said, having trouble breathing, imagining the task presented to him.

"Ok fine" Sirius huffed, "you have to seduce her, with or without a boyfriend, even though that makes the bet more boring".

"Ok" James said

"But if you can't do it then you have to go swimming in the Lake naked" Sirius said wickedly.

"When's the cut-off date?" Remus asked.

"End of term dance, just before Christmas break" Sirius decided.

"But, hang on, if he loses, then he'll have to go swimming in winter, he'll freeze his balls off!" Peter said horrified, paling at the thought of anyone's balls being exposed to those conditions.

"Oh my god!" James yelled.

"Calm down, calm down- I've got a better one, you've got to walk naked up to the Teacher's table at Breakfast on the last day of term and ask McGonagall whether she wants to pours whipped cream over you" Sirius stated proudly.

"Oh that's sick!" shouted James.

"And yet, oddly genius" Sirius mused, stroking his chin.

AN- Thousands of egos die every year from lack of fulfilment, stop the madness and review.


	3. Chapter 3

"Guess who?" Greg sing-songed, Lily grimaced and she could hear Suki giggling next to her. They were in the Great Hall having the first dinner of the term.

"Hi Greg" Lily sighed. Only Greg would be lame enough to do that. Greg laughed and straddled the bench, his blonde hair flopping over his forehead. Think Nick Carter in the Backstreet Boys days, though that's not really a compliment.

"Hey you wanna hang out later?" Greg asked enthusiastically, "hang out" being code for "make out and hopefully something more" in boy-speak.

"Aw I'm sorry- it's tradition, the first night back the five of us have a girl's night in" Lily said, shrugging.

"Oh ok" Greg said, "well I'll see you tomorrow then?"

"Yeah sure"

As Greg jogged back to the Hufflepuff table one of his friends threw a football to him. Greg caught the ball mid-air and punched the air.

"The boy does have skills" Amber said.

"Just not in the right areas" Suki laughed.

"Hello ladies" Sirius said, his arms leaning over Suki so his body towered over hers. Suki rolled her eyes from underneath her long straight-across fringe and drummer her fingers on the table.

"Hi Sirius" Amber replied, she was on good terms with Sirius due to the fact that they were both Beaters on the Gryffindor Quiditch team.

"Amber you're looking lovely this term" he stated, grinning at her. Or he was before Suki elbowed him in the gut.

"Jesus!" he groaned, having now situated himself on the floor.

"I don't like people looming over me" Suki stated before turning around and finishing her salad.

"Hey Rebecca, do you know who Head Boy is with you?" Kit asked, speaking for the first time since they had started dinner.

"No, though it'll probably be Remus or Amos" she replied. Kit nodded and smiled, knowing that Rebecca wished for a certain Hufflepuff to be named Head Boy.

Lily sighed and tried to remind herself that she was happy for Rebecca. There was a time when Lily had thought of becoming Head Girl. She had the grades for it and she was nice to her fellow students. The problem was that Lily had never really been a joiner. She didn't see the point in cheering on sports and she didn't volunteer for any clubs or organisations. Sometimes it seemed like Lily was walking around in a constant state of indifference in relation to school. She did care about her grades because that was what decided her future but she just didn't really get involved in school life. _I wonder if I'll always be this apathetic- about school, about boys, about life in general_. Then again, she was fiercely loyal when it came to her friends. Rebecca was the right choice for Head Girl but Lily couldn't help feeling slightly jealous.

James watched as Lily played with her food, a slight frown wrinkling her forehead. He'd never really paid her much attention in the past. She'd turned him down that time in fifth year, which angered him a little, but he hadn't really thought about her much. She was just another pretty girl. There had to be something in the water in Hogwarts that provided all these attractive girls for him and Sirius to pursue. Yet, he liked how she was just sitting there, thinking while everyone around her chatted animatedly. For some reason witnessing this private internal moment of Lily's made James feel closer to her.

"Remember that time when Sheryl Baines blew me and the entire Sirius Black fan club mobbed her?" Sirius asked, breaking James' internal monologue. _Then again, maybe I should just do the bet and be done with it_ James thought; _she'll probably be just another girl, don't try and alleviate your guilt by turning it into this deeply emotional thing_.

"Yeah I remember. And I remember how you ran like a girl when the fan club turned on you" James teased. Sirius had slowly made his way back to where the boys were sitting after Suki's elbowing.

"Hey don't underestimate the power of a mob of girls, ok?"

"On the plus side- did you see Lily flinch away from Greg? This'll be easier than I thought" James stated.

"You might want to rethink that James" Remus said, pointing to where the girls were sitting. And to where Amos Diggory was now very confidently swaggering.

"God I hate that guy" James growled.

"You only hate him because he deflowered Mimi Jameson before you did" Remus replied.

"Well, still, she's a Gryffindor, hasn't she got any house loyalty?"

"Hmm.. house loyalty as a reason to give up your virginity, you should definitely use that argument more often"

"Oh shut up"

Amos Diggory was now talking to Lily, his hand resting on her shoulder. Rebecca suddenly got up and raced out of the Great Hall.

"Hey that reminds me, Rebecca's the new Head Girl" Remus said, "she'll be working with Diggory a lot I expect".

"I can't believe they gave it to that pompous git and not you," Sirius spat.

"Whatever, it would have been a bit hard with my monthly problem anyway" Remus replied, shrugging. (This would be the point where the author would remind the reader that Remus was actually a WEREWOLF!!! How big a rock would there have to be for someone to not know that? Seriously)

Across the Great Hall Lily was trying to keep her food down. The touches that she was sure Diggory meant to be seductive were annoying. He had even started this thing where his fingers were kneading her shoulder. What the hell? And while he's giving her shoulder the most uncomfortable massage known to man he's going on and on about his summer spent on his daddy's yacht. Lily tried to catch Suki's eye but she seemed to be avoiding Lily's gaze. Suki's mouth was pressed tightly closed and every so often her shoulders would shake with repressed laughter. Lily vowed revenge then and there.

"And then I said if you don't know the difference between a main sail and a top sheet what are you even doing on a yacht!" Amos guffawed.

"That's really interesting Amos but I have unpack my stuff now" Lily said trying not to kick him in the shins. She'd been around Suki too long.

"Ok" he replied, leaning down so he was whispering in her ear, "I'll see you later". He sort of reminds me of my Aunt Kerry's cat Lily thought as he purred "seductively" in her ear. Lily smiled weakly as he ran his fingers down her arm before pointing two guns at her and running off. What was it with guys and that cheesy two guns finger thing?

"What was that?" demanded a familiar voice from behind Lily. Many people would expect that voice to belong to Greg, her boyfriend, but no. It was James Potter.

"What?"

"Diggory using you as his own personal Play Dough"

"I don't know what business it is of yours"

"Well…" James was suddenly lost for an excuse, "nothing", he muttered.

"Okkk, marks for weirdness goes to James and marks for sleaziness goes to Amos" Amber said as they watched James scurry off.

"I'm pretty sure he's supposed to be unbelievably sexy and charismatic" Kit said softly, "but then again Lily isn't Head Girl so I guess the story can be changed".

"What?" Suki asked, the other two girls turning as well to stare at Kit.

"Oh, nothing, just remarking upon the strange nature of the universe" Kit replied, smiling dreamily.

"Like the fact that you can like Emilio Estevez even after seeing St Elmo's Fire?" Suki retorted.

"Hey! I still maintain that he is hot- even in that crap movie" Kit argued.

And so the four friends continued to bicker over 80s movies and forgot about the rare insight Kit had imparted upon them.

In the boy's dormitories Sirius was giving James a little pep talk.

"Man, it's alright, sometimes the magic is lost. That's alright. It doesn't mean that it's gone forever. Here, recite after me 'pardon me, are you going to be using that vagina?'"

"That's disgusting!"

"No, it's to the point and practical. And I think in the long-term the girl will thank you for that"

"I worry about you"

"No I'm worrying about you, man. What the hell was that in the Great Hall? Lily gave you a great opener, you could have said 'do you want to become my business?' or 'let's make some business together' instead you decided to be a wuss and say freaking 'nothing'!"

"I know! Jesus! I chickened out- she was just glaring at me and her red hair had sort of got out of her ponytail so there were these little bits blowing in the wind made from Big Barry moving around on his seat and she had this little bit of chocolate in the corner of her mouth which was just sitting there…"

"Oh my god- shut up right now" Sirius stared at him in disbelief, "this is freaking lame- remember the whipped cream and McGonagall ok? If you fail this bet I'm going to be crying with laughter throughout the entire Christmas holidays and that could have serious medical repercussions 'cause I'm not even sure if that's physically possible".

James nodded and tried to get the image of McGonagall smearing whipped cream over him out of his head.

AN- this author will not use the standard "I'll not update until I've had at least 10 reviews" device that many others do. Therefore, out of extreme gratitude, every reader should review- if merely to point out this author's great maturity and intelligence.


	4. Chapter 4

To Diddly- they can discuss 80s movies because I have an insatiable need to include my own pop culture references and hang-ups into my stories. Screw correct chronology. Please review again. 

To Bithya- I have also read thousands of LJ fics and so this story is me trying to write a good LJ fic and at the same time pay out all the obvious devices that most authors use that piss me off.

Chapter 4

"I have to say I think Casablanca was overrated" Lily slurred. The girls were sprawled over a few beds in their dormitory. In the tradition of girl's night in's of the past they had played Truth or Dare with shots (Amber was now banned from the Hospital Wing unless severely injured) and had given each other makeovers. They now resembled Eddy and Patsy from Ab Fab, having become over-enthusiastic with the eye shadow and blush.

"What! No way!" Amber yelled, she was the "aggressive but adorable" drunk.

"Yeshh" Lily said, her finger pointing lopsidedly as she made her point, "I just couldn't see the sparks between Bogart and Bergman". Though sparks was pronounced "sperkhs".

"I like The Karate Kid" Suki stated.

"We know, it's your favourite movie" Lily said, "You know I love you right? Like really really love you!"

"Aww honey" Suki said, hugging and strangling Lily at the same time.

"Let's prank the boys" Kit announced suddenly, her eyes wide and her head nodding excitedly.

"Yeah yeah yeah" Amber yelled. It seems those last three shots that they downed were taking their toll.

As if they sneaked down the stairs to the common room Lily shushed the others as they giggled. Later, the second year Astronomy students told their friends how they had seen the five girls, though they might have been transvestites, sneak up the boy's dormitory stairs, falling down a few times and flashing the assembled second years their bum cracks.

At the Marauder's door Kit silenced the other girls and opened the door softly. When they were all inside Kit closed the door and got out her wand.

"Um what are we doing again?" Lily whispered.

"Let's turn all their clothes pink" suggested Amber.

"Or we could give them all temporary boobs" Suki whispered.

"Peter already has those" Lily giggled.

"What about we write Property of Suki on their chests?" Rebecca suggested.

Kit slowly shook her head and an evil grin graced her features. The next morning the screams and cries were heard by the centaurs in the Forbidden Forest.

"What did you do?" Sirius yelled. The four boys had approached the girls at the Gryffindor table at Breakfast.

"What do you mean?" Suki asked innocently.

"You know what- how do we reverse it?" James asked angrily.

"Reverse what?" Lily asked.

"Stop with the innocent act- a group of second years saw you guys walking up to the boy dormitories- though for a minute they thought you were extras from Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" stated Sirius.

"Yeah I got a bit carried away with the make-up" Suki replied guiltily.

"Look it wasn't very long before and now it's even shorter- just please tell us how to reverse it!" Peter wailed, his voice loud in the suddenly quiet Hall. Hundreds of faces turned to peer at the Marauders.

"Um woah Peter" Amber replied, "sorry, we didn't realise you guys would get so pissed".

"Yeah well I've got a date tonight with Roxy Harrison so I need it to be its usual size" Sirius whispered angrily.

"So an inch longer then?" Suki retorted, smirking.

"Trust me, if you had actually experienced Sirius you wouldn't be joking about it" Sirius said smugly.

"Could you be any more conceited? And could you not talk in the third person? It gives me the scary feeling that there's more than one of you" Suki argued.

A few hours later and the boys were "all better". The next day Roxy would thank the girls for their reversal of Sirius' "Wonder Boy".

The next afternoon after classes Lily walked down to the Lake with Kit. Lily lay underneath a tree and read her book while Kit went to converse with the mermaids.

"So what's this one then?" Lily looked up into the smiling face of James Potter, "Molding Steel? Ripples of Desire? Courting the Courtesan?"

"How long did it take you to think of those names?" Lily laughed.

"Only a few hours" James grinned. He sat down beside her and read over her shoulder.

"Adrianne didn't know who this mysterious man was, or what threat he would pose to her future. All she knew was that his hands made her feel sensations she'd only heard about. His hands stroking her hair, caressing her arms, making the slow and torturous journey to her breasts…" James said quietly. Lily realised that she was breathing rapidly and shut the book, smiling weakly at James.

"I know it's stupid…"

"But its better than reality?" he teased softly.

"No, yes… argh, never mind!" Lily spluttered. James was wearing a white shirt and he had rolled the sleeves up to his elbows, displaying his tanned arms. Lily swallowed and looked away. Kit was leaning at the shore of the Lake, her fingers grazing the water. When Lily looked back James was staring at her.

"What?" she asked defensively.

"Why are you still with Greg?" he asked.

"What kind of question is that?"

"I see how you are with him- you clearly can't stand him"

"He's a nice guy, ok? Unlike some people he's not going to dump me as soon as I sleep with him" she said pointedly.

"But he does want to sleep with you" James said.

"Well… yeah, but he's a boy, he can't help it" Lily stated, blushing furiously.

"Whatever it is he's doing, he must not be doing it right or you'd be much more enthusiastic" James said slowly, running his fingers up and down Lily's arm.

"Yeah," Lily laughed, "and you'd be so much better, right?"

"Well, yes"

Lily laughed sourly and stared up at the sky through the leafy canopy of the tree.

"Guys know three, maybe four things to do and they go through them like steps- I highly doubt that you'd wow me with your prowess- guys just go through the motions to get to the finish line" Lily stated wryly. Her smile disappeared when she looked at James. His face was hard and his eyes were staring straight into hers.

"Then you've been severely disadvantaged" James whispered. His fingers were now in her hair and were running through it. Greg always seemed to catch the tangles in her hair but James' fingers stroked her hair. He leaned towards her and she stared wide-eyed at him. His fingers made a path down her neck and over her shoulders. James' lips pressed against her neck, nipping the skin softly. He blew on her neck softly and Lily shivered, her eyes falling closed. Lily slowly leant back onto the grass as James pressed his lips over her neck and shoulders. The sun warmed her skin through the leaves and she could feel a light breeze wafting from the Lake. She could feel James kiss her throat, making his way slowly up her neck. Lily arched her neck and clenched her fingers to his chest. She could feel his muscles through the thin material of his shirt. James kissed her jaw and traced his fingers over her breasts, only lightly touching them through her singlet. He pressed his lips to hers, kissing the top and then the bottom lip, letting them linger for a moment. Lily arched her back and groaned softly. It was too much but not enough at the same time. She wanted more.

"See you later" he whispered in her ear, his fingers stroking her hair one last time before his heat left her side.

_WHAT???_ Lily screamed internally. Her eyes snapped open and she sat up, watching as he walked over the grass, his long legs encased by faded blue jeans. She unconsciously bit her lip as she watched his butt walk away from her. His white shirt strained across his broad back and Lily collapsed back onto the grass, groaning in frustration.

"Annoying prick, definitely" was Suki's verdict.

"This was at the Lake? How come I didn't see it?" Kit asked vaguely.

"God I hate you- that is so hot" Rebecca whined.

"Freaking hell- I get Lucius Malfoy feeling me up at Quiditch games while trying to kill me and you get a romance novel by the Lake!" Amber said.

"It was so, so… I don't even know. Greg has never made me feel like that. It was just so… overwhelming. But in a good way, you know?" Lily tried to explain to them.

"You have to break-up with Greg" Suki stated, "not only because James is completely gorgeous and obviously hot for you but also because it's not fair on Greg for you to be seduced by James while he's planning your 3 month anniversary date".

"Oh shit! I forgot about that" Lily said guiltily. _Poor Greg- I'm an awful girlfriend_.

AN- Review if you haven't found your James yet- like me- and you want to vent about the annoyingness of the universe.


	5. Chapter 5

AN- This chapter is dedicated to every person out there who has semi-normal relatives- you don't know how lucky you are. Pervy uncles do exist. Be afraid, be very afraid.

Lily re-applied some lip gloss and tried to think about something other than the fact that James had been kissing those lips only 25 hours ago. In classes they had exchanged a few glances but that was it. Suddenly there was a knock at the door and Lily walked over to find Greg. Or at least the person she assumed was Greg as his face was obscured by a huge bunch of lilies. Lily rolled her eyes; the number of times some guy had gotten her lilies was too frequent to count. Nobody actually gave her a bunch of her favourite flowers, which were sunflowers.

"Oh Greg they're lovely" Lily said, "You shouldn't have". Greg beamed.

Later as they were having dinner at a little place in Hogsmeade Greg reached for Lily's hand over the table. Lily smiled at him and squeezed his hand trying to get rid of the empty feeling that overcame her.

As they were walking back to Hogwarts Greg stopped her and they sat down on a bench.

"I wanted to give you a present to celebrate our three month anniversary" Greg said softly. _Oh shit_.

"Um, I didn't get you anything though" Lily said, feeling a little pissed off and a lot guilty.

"That's alright. Just being with you is enough" Greg said. _Did he seriously just say that?_ Lily asked herself. Greg's gooey, earnest expression was starting to make her feel a bit queasy. _Is something deeply wrong with me that I'm not swooning at his romantic clichés? _

"Oh you're sweet" Lily said, forcing a smile. Lily ripped the wrapping paper off and gasped. It was a velvet jewellery box. For an insane moment Lily thought Greg was proposing and rehearsed rejection speeches in her head. But when she opened the box she found a gold chain with a gold heart dangling from it. It was obviously expensive, which caused a twinge of guilt to kick her stomach. But it wasn't her. For one, she preferred silver and secondly, she would never want something as generic or boring as a heart. No offence to anyone who's been given one or wanted one but seriously, they were so bland.

"Oh… Greg… it's beautiful" she said haltingly.

"I just saw it and thought you'd love it" Greg said proudly.

"Um, Greg, this is too much", Lily whispered, "it was obviously expensive and I didn't get you anything". The guilt was now doing a tap dance in her stomach.

"Don't worry about it" he replied. Not knowing how to reply, no boy having ever given her jewellery, Lily kissed him. And tried not to cry as the lack of spark told her yet again what she had to do.

"I have to break-up with Greg" Lily stated.

"Well can I just say," Suki said, "Hallelujah!"

"Oh come on, he's a nice guy" Kit said.

"Yeah, but give me leather jackets and flying motorcycles any day over 'nice'" Suki retorted.

"Referring to anyone in particular?" Amber asked cheekily.

"I don't like him! I'm just saying, motorcycles are hot" Suki replied testily. Suki and Amber had run into Sirius on his motorcycle one day in London in the summer holidays. Their whole group now teased Suki of her drooling demeanour when confronted with her 'bad-boy' fantasy in Sirius.

"Yeah, what is it about bad boys?" Lily asked.

"Well I think you'd be the best person to answer that" Amber countered, one eyebrow raised, "apart from Suki of course".

"Yeah, what about a certain James Potter?" Rebecca teased.

"I don't know what you're talking about" Lily said, "James was just trying to annoy me. I've decided to ignore him". Like many declarations Lily made it had the ring of finality to it, though that didn't necessarily mean it would work.

"Uh huh" Suki replied, smiling at Lily cheekily.

The four girls exchanged looks as they sat around their dormitory room, all thinking the same thoughts, knowing Lily way too well. Lily glared at them.

"Oh screw you" Lily huffed, flouncing out the door.

From the other side of the door Lily heard repressed laughter cackle throughout the room. Lily couldn't help but smile.

Lily figured the best place to break-up with Greg was in a private but well-seen area. Since it wasn't a Hogsmeade weekend she couldn't go to the usual coffee shop that she went to break up with guys. So instead, that Saturday morning, a few days after their three month anniversary, Lily and Greg sat down by the Lake. The irony of the fact that this was the same place that James kissed her was not lost on Lily.

"Um, Greg, I thought we'd meet today because…" Lily started. While Lily was trying to find the right way to say 'I can't stand you anymore' Greg was tickling her up and down her arm.

"Um Greg, could you just, um" Lily said awkwardly.

"Do you like that?" he asked, his eyes serious as his fingers tickled her arm. _What is this, a bad porn movie?_

"Greg could you just stop that please?" Lily asked her guilt increasing as she saw Greg's face fall.

"Look, I think you are a great guy" Lily started, taking a deep breath, "you deserve someone who loves and worships you and I just think that, um, that I'm not that person". Lily cringed internally at her words.

"What are you saying?" Greg asked.

"I just think that we should, um, maybe, you know, break up" Lily squirmed under Greg's gaze and wished she could be a jerk and just break-up over owl like some people did.

"But… But I love you!" Greg yelled.

"Damn it Greg" Lily said angrily, seeing other students stare at them curiously, "you don't even know me!"

"I do know you. I know you better than any other guy ever will. We're two halves of a soul, Lily!" Greg declared. With that statement Lily finally knew that what she was doing was right. Who freaking says two halves of one soul?

"You're make a big mistake Lily! No guy will ever love you as much as I do!" Greg said dramatically.

"Well I guess that's a risk I'll just have to take" Lily said, rolling her eyes internally.

"And I want my necklace back!" Greg said.

"Ok" Lily stated simply. She got the necklace out of her pocket and dropped it into his hand.

"I'm sorry" Lily said, feeling guilty at the sight of Greg sitting there dejectedly, cradling the necklace in his hands.

Later, Lily was telling the others about the break-up at the Gryffindor table over lunch.

"That is so sad" Rebecca said.

"Yeah, poor guy" stated Amber.

"It's a tiny bit funny though" Suki giggled, "I want my necklace back!" The other girls giggled guiltily.

"I didn't even want it anyway" Lily said.

"What's he going to do with it now?" Kit wondered.

"Wear it? Chant over it? Add it to his Lily shrine?" Suki joked. The girls laughed and Lily thanked the universe again for her friends.

"Oh, did I tell you? I'm trying out for the Quiditch team for the chaser position" Suki said excitedly.

"Shouldn't you be a Beater, with your track record?" Amber teased.

"Technically, yes, but that would require me murdering you and I have qualms about doing that due to the fact that you're my friend" Suki quipped.

"What about Sirius, he's the other Beater, you could replace him" Amber said, only half joking, "please, please, replace him, I'm so sick of his farts in the locker room".

"As much as I would like to I don't think Potter would replace his best buddy for me since they're joined at the hip" Suki grumbled.

"Plus, there was that time that you kicked James in the balls in fourth year, I don't think he thinks of you very favourably since then" Lily laughed.

This pleasant conversation was suddenly interrupted by a large jeering from the Hufflepuff table. It seems a large group of guys were laughing and jeering to something that Greg was saying. Lily had a sinking feeling that it was about her.

"Begged for it… Threw herself at me… Crying…" Greg boasted.

"I'm really hoping that he's recounting a dream to them" Lily said.

"I just had to end it" Greg's voice faintly reached them across the Great Hall.

"Oh crap" Lily muttered.

"I think we should sort this out" Amber stated menacingly.

"No, no, let him boast to his friends if it makes him feel better" Lily said warily.

"Wasn't very good in the sack" Greg's voice clearly reached the Gryffindor table.

"Ok that's it" Suki said. The five girls got up from the Gryffindor table and followed Suki's march over to the Hufflepuff table.

"Hey Greg" Suki said sweetly. The group of boys turned to her and some gulped when they saw whose voice it was.

"Um hey Suki" Greg said, his eyes flickering to the girls behind her, which included his ex-girlfriend.

"Heard what you were saying, hope it wasn't about Lily" Amber said, her arms crossed over her chest, which unfortunately for her made her breasts squish together in a decidedly unthreatening way.

Greg's eyes flickered to his friends sitting around him. The Great Hall was slowly turning silent as the possibility of a scene occurring was realised by the other students. The pressure was mounting and Greg could feel the eyes on him.

"Look, I can't help it if Lily's upset about the break-up, but she's just got to get over me" Greg stated smugly, trying to mask his fake bravado. Suki's eyes narrowed dangerously and the boys that had cheered Greg on when he uttered his last statement shifted swiftly down the bench.

"Oh really? So this isn't your attempt at salvaging your wounded male ego by making up stories about how you broke up with Lily because she's 'bad in the sack'" Rebecca questioned sarcastically, putting quotation marks around her last words mockingly.

"Um, no?" Greg asked, realising the mess he had gotten himself into.

Slowly, Suki leaned over and smiled at Greg. The other boys inched closer, seeing the way that Suki's breasts pushed together over her singlet top. Without any warning Suki emptied the bowl of creamy potato salad all over Greg and his friends. Then she picked up the pumpkin juice and poured that over the rest of the boys that had been cheering Greg on. And with the rest of the Great Hall cheering, Suki, Lily, Rebecca, Amber and Kit walked out of the Hall.

Across at the Gryffindor table, Sirius shook his head and laughed, slowly clapping.

"That girl has got some impressive balls, that's all I'm going to say" Sirius stated.

AN- If you, too, have impressive balls, please review.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

"Dude! Wait up!" Sirius' voice reached down the corridor and James stopped, turning to find his best friend running towards him.

"You missed the best lunch ever" Sirius panted.

"Yeah?"

"Lily broke up with Greg! And then Greg was being a jerk so Suki poured potato salad over him" Sirius said excitedly.

"Lily broke up with Greg?" James asked, wondering what effect this would have on the bet.

"Yeah, man. I might have to make this a bit harder otherwise you'll be coming into some money earlier than you thought" Sirius grinned, though at the thought that James would win their bet he grew serious.

"Don't you dare do anything" James warned.

"Don't worry, man," Sirius said, "I have to say, Suki is pretty hot"

"I wonder why Lily finally decided to break up with Greg," James stated. The two boys walked towards the Gryffindor tower, the corridors empty due to the fact that most of the students were enjoying a sunny Saturday outside.

"Her fringe sort of hides her eyes a little, it's sort of sexy" Sirius muttered.

"Do you think it had anything to do with me?" James asked.

"And she's got an awesome body" Sirius continued.

"What? Lily?"

"No, Suki. Though they both have fine figures" Sirius grinned. James felt a little angry at that remark though he couldn't figure out why. James was not known for his self-reflection skills.

"Let's go down to the Quiditch pitch. We've got tryouts"

Three hours later, the sun was going down and twenty hopeful Quiditch players were lined up on the Pitch. Sirius, James and Amber were whispering animatedly together as they tried to decide who would fill the empty positions in their team. As the three senior members of the Gryffindor Quiditch team they had decided to choose between the three of them who the new recruits would be.

"Ok," James stated loudly, "for the Keeper position we decided on Patrick Harrison."

"And for the two Chaser positions we decided on Suki Yakomora and Kyle Thompson" Amber said, beaming at her friend. Suki jumped up and yelped excitedly.

The two Beater positions were already taken by Sirius and Amber and the Seeker position had been held since second year by James.

As they walked to the change-rooms Sirius ran up to Suki and put his arm over her shoulders.

"So, you're part of the team now. I should warn you there's this tradition that all new members of the Quiditch team have to go on a date with me" Sirius stated.

"Well I'll go out with you after you've gone on dates with Kyle and Patrick" Suki retorted cheekily.

"Oh no… well" Sirius said, "It was worth a try". He grinned at her seductively.

"Um, Sirius?"

"Yeah babe?"

"Could you move your arm? The feeling of your sweaty armpit on my shoulder is not as arousing as you're obviously hoping it will be" Suki stated. And with that she smiled sweetly at him and walked off, leaving Sirius cringing. He hadn't been this ineffective since he said to Sheryl Pomeroy "Hi, I'm conducting a field test of how many women have pierced nipples. Can I see yours?" in fourth year.

Later, in the Gryffindor common room yells of congratulations could be heard as Suki told her friends about her getting the Chaser position. The five girls were sitting in front of the fire and James couldn't help but notice how pretty Lily looked in the firelight. And, because he's a guy, how tight her school shirt was.

Slowly her friends drifted up to their dorm. Lily sat on an armchair next to the fire reading a book. Every so often she would smile to herself and squirm in her seat. James thought it was the most adorable thing ever.

"I finally figured out why you read those books" he whispered leaning over the armchair, looking down at her surprised face. He grabbed the book from her putting it down on the table. Lily was glad that he hadn't studied the cover as it was a particularly embarrassing depiction of a exotic bronzed man ravishing a red-headed damsel in a skimpy white dress.

"Oh yeah?" she asked, an eyebrow raised, "well, please, enlighten me."

"If you insist" he replied, sitting on an armchair opposite hers and pulling her armchair towards his so that she had to tuck her legs under her. Her protests were silenced as James stared at her seriously, his face a few inches from her own.

"It's because when you were a little girl you would play with your Barbie and Ken and you would imagine a guy who would have no flaws and who could sweep you away with a matching car and caravan set" he stated.

"Not even close. I didn't even play with Barbies" Lily laughed.

"Ok, then. What about this? You would watch movies every Friday night where the guy would fall for the girl, the girl would fall for the guy and the guy would break and then mend the girl's heart. And every time the movie would fade out with pop music playing in the background you would wish for your very own happy ending. You would see how the guy and girl would look at each other. And you would wish for someone to hold you like that. So the closest thing you could find to the real thing was romance novels. Because god knows the guys in reality weren't sweeping you off your feet or making you forget all previously held notions of good and bad and right and wrong. So you settled for getting your romance fix from _Blaze _and _Mills and Boon_ without ever trying to search for the real thing".

Lily felt a little short of breath. Had the fire always been this hot? She could feel James' eyes probing her face as she looked down at her clenched hands.

"Well… that was pretty…. good" Lily said clearing her throat awkwardly. She didn't want to think about this. She had read these books for as long as she could remember. She'd never actually analysed why she did. They were just a good escape, and yes, if she must admit it, they did make her sigh and wish for something intangible, but that didn't mean she'd never tried to find romance for herself!

"And you know what I don't get?" James started, his blue eyes sparking, "what happens after they get married? When the scene fades out, when the book ends? Do they continue living a passion-filled romantic existence for the rest of their lives? How do we know that the spark is still there fifty years on when they're both aged and relying on Zimmer frames?" Lily couldn't help but laugh at that.

"Don't you see? That's the whole point" Lily said. "The romance in these books doesn't age and the spark doesn't fade. It is frozen in time, eternally passionate. That's why I read them, because I know that I'll never find anything like that, because reality isn't like that."

"I don't know. I think love means sharing the same arthritis cream" James grinned.

"I thought love means never having to say you're sorry" Lily retorted.

"Nup, utter bull" James said, smiling at her. Lily suddenly realised how close he was to her and she gulped. He looked really cute with his hair all messed up from practice and his shirt unbuttoned from the fire. His eyes twinkled as he leaned forward. His hands cupped her face as his lips slightly brushed hers. Lily closed her eyes and ran her hands through his hair. He slowly kissed her upper lip and then her lower one. His tongue ran lightly over her lips and she opened her mouth. This want inside her was overpowering and slightly scary. As James caressed her tongue with his she couldn't think straight. She could feel James hands running through her hair and trailing down her back, making her shiver in pleasure. That shiver seemed to awake her consciousness and she pulled away. James eyes slowly opened and he looked at her, thankfully not doing that serious face that guys always do when they kiss you.

"I, I have to go" she stammered. Jumping up she grabbed her book and ran up the stairs before he could protest.

"Let me get this straight- you were in the common room. Alone. With a fire. With James Potter. Premium bachelor of Hogwarts. Talking about romance and romance novels." Suki stated, listing the points off her fingers the next morning at breakfast.

"Yep"

"You had no chance, it was way too cliche" Amber said through a mouthful of pancake.

"Amber's right. Especially with the fire" Suki said, shaking her head.

"Sly bugger" Lily muttered.

Down the table James Potter was grinning into his baked beans as his friends talked about their next prank.

A week had passed and it was the first Quiditch match of the year between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff. Lily had tried to avoid James as much as possible as she didn't know what she'd say if she saw him. Plus there was the added dilemma of Greg. Even though she'd broken up with him and Suki had permanently stained his clothes he had been bothering her all week. Following her to class, offering to carry her books, sending her poems by owl. Suki had taken particular amusement in one which stated "Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm sticking with you, because you're my glue". Lily didn't really get how that was supposed to be romantic but she appreciated the gesture nonetheless.

As it was Suki's first Quiditch game she had made Lily promise that she would watch the game. So instead of catching up on homework like she usually did Lily sat in the Gryffindor stands with Kit and Rebecca on either side. The teams were warming up on the pitch and Lily had to admit it was sort of exciting. The atmosphere, the excited hum from the crowd, the waving of house colours, all built within her a squirming anticipation for the game to come.

"Did I tell you guys that there's going to be a Halloween Dance?" Rebecca asked.

"Oh cool" Lily replied.

"Can we wear costumes?" Kit asked.

"Yeah, I'm planning it with Amos and we were thinking that it would be dress-up and we could have candy lining the walls of the Great Hall." Rebecca stated excitedly.

"We have to go shopping for costumes next weekend then" Lily said.

The whistle sounded and the action started. Lily could see James hovering above the pitch, his eyes searching for the Snitch. Lily cheered as Suki scored a goal and laughed as Sirius tries to hug Suki and she almost pushes him off his broom.

The game went on for a while as the three Gryffindor Chasers scored goal after goal. For a while the Hufflepuff Chasers seemed to be catching up with a few goals but they didn't pull ahead. Suddenly shouts from the crowd could be heard as James raced towards the ground. Lily held her breath as James got closer and closer to the hard ground. Her hands clutched her face in fear as he got metres from the ground. Suddenly James pulled his broom back up and in his hand fluttered the Snitch. Lily couldn't help but yell and cheer along with the rest of the Gryffindors as she smiled in relief. She turned and hugged Rebecca, jumping up and down.

"Um Lily?" Rebecca said suddenly, pointing over Lily's shoulder.

Lily turned around and James floated a few inches from where she was standing. His hair was messy as usual and his trademark grin was attached firmly to his face.

"I have something for you" he said, his words only reaching her over the yells of the crowd due to his proximity to her. He opened his hand and the Snitch flew up, hovering in front of her face. She laughed delightedly and tentatively stroked its wings. She jumped slightly as it flew away.

"Now you'll have to catch it again" she said grinning.

"Well that's just something I'll have to live with" he stated. Lily gulped as he drew nearer. And suddenly he was kissing her. _I've missed this_ she groaned to herself. Lily wrapped her arms around his neck and drew herself closer to him. This just felt so _right_. He nibbled softly against her lip and leaned his forehead against hers.

"Just thought I'd get Greg off your back" James rasped. Suddenly Lily felt irrationally angry. _How dare he?!_ She had only broken up with Greg a week ago and just because they had kissed in the common room (oh and by the lake) didn't mean that he could just kiss her in front of the whole school! She drew away quickly and stepped back almost stepping off the bench she had been standing on. She could feel hundreds of eyes staring at them and she blushed, hoping the James Potter fan club wouldn't send her hate mail after this.

"What do you think you're doing? I only broke up with Greg a week ago- can you imagine how he feels?" she hissed, lowering her voice so only James could hear her.

"Oh like you really care what Greg thinks" James said.

"Well it's obvious you don't" she retorted, crossing her arms across her chest.

"Why are we even talking about Greg? This isn't about him, this is about the fact that you can't admit to yourself that you want me to kiss you again and again and again," at the last part his voice got lower and he came closer so that his face was only a few inches from hers. Lily groaned in exasperation and threw her hands in the air. Suddenly James grabbed her and pulled her onto his broom before launching into the air.

"What are you doing?" Lily shrieked, grabbing hold of his arms in fright.

"I thought you might like to accompany me on my victory lap" he smirked.

"James! I'm afraid of heights!"

"Seriously?"

"Yes!"

"Well how about we do a quick lap and then I'll put you down" James suggested, sensing the crowd beneath them, a cacophony of sounds rising up to meet them. Lily turned around quickly to scream at him but before she could she slipped off the broom. As she fell toward the ground screaming Lily had a strange thought _'I can't believe that because of idiot Potter I'm going to die a virgin'_.

Suddenly she felt rough hands grabbing at her waist and she was jerked to a standstill. James had caught her. Lily looked down and saw the ground ten metres below her and promptly fainted.

"Lily! Lily! Wake up!"

Slowly Lily opened her eyes and saw three faces looming over her. Suki and Amber were crying. James was yelling at her. He must have been the one who had been calling her.

"Fuck you Potter" she said, looking up at the three of them. Suki clapped happily and Amber sighed in relief.

"Well it's good to see you're alright," Dumbledore said, his face appearing next to James'. The four of them helped her up and Lily saw that she was still on the Quiditch pitch, the crowd whispering rapidly. Lily groaned at the rumours that would be caused by this morning.

"You were only out for a moment" Amber stated.

"Ohmigod Lily! Are you alright?" Kit asked. Rebecca followed closely behind her, panting from running from the Gryffindor stands.

"Yeah, just a little shaky" Lily replied, leaning against James. That is until she realised who she was leaning against.

"And you! You prick! I could have died!" she yelled.

"You can thank me for saving your life anytime now" he replied.

"I wouldn't have even been up there if it wasn't for you and your attention-seeking!"

The argument was cut short by Rebecca throwing herself at Lily and bawling on her shoulder. Rebecca was quickly followed by Kit, Suki and Amber as the girls hugged her, words such as "scared" and "heart attack" sometimes being heard over the wailing.

"Women" Sirius muttered, shaking his head. The crowd had slowly dispersed as it was determined that nobody was fatally injured, thereby losing the crowd's interest.

"Come on, we have a victory party to organise" Sirius stated, slapping James on the back, awakening him from his startled stupor.

AN- If you want to marry James Potter please submit an application in the form of a review.


	7. Chapter 7

IWantToMarryJames- Don't we all? (sigh)

C Readon- In answer to the question of why they're not Head Boy and Girl I just didn't want them to be (I know- I'm an awful LJ fan). I was just sick of the same plots and settings that went along with them being Head Boy and Girl and I thought it'd be better if it was different- plus Rebecca and Amos being Head Boy and Girl is going to be a factor in the story. 

Thanks to all the other reviews- I promised myself I wouldn't be one of those authors who spent half a chapter responding to reviews so I restricted myself to two replies. 

SORRY THAT I TOOK SO LONG IN UPDATING- I recently started uni and I've been spending my time making friends and influencing people- or something like that.

Chapter 7- 

At lunch Lily was still seething over the whole James and nearly dying incident. Then again, a near death experience is not something you can easily forget, even if the Gryffindor Quiditch team won the game and there's apparently going to be a big party that night. 

Amber and Suki were debating passionately the merits of various Quiditch plays so Lily wasn't really paying attention. She was regressively amusing herself with creating a mountain out of mashed potato. She added a few slices of tomato to the top and imagined it was a volcano. 

"Having fun?" a voice asks behind her. Lily looked up to find Amos leaning towards her, his shirt gaping wide and his sleeves rolled up. While he was pretty hot the stench of his aftershave deterred her from any thoughts that might lead to drooling. 

"Loads," Lily said, smiling weakly. 

"That was a pretty nasty fall today, huh, princess?" he asked, tapping her under the chin. Lily couldn't help but think _ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww_. She could feel Amber shaking beside her and kicked her in the shin. A muffled 'ow' then followed. 

"Yeah, I'm a bit of a wimp when it comes to heights" Lily said. 

"Well if you ever need anyone to cure that- just let me know" Amos grinned, pointed two fingers at her and walked back to his table, leaving a strong sense of _Tool_ in the air. 

"Princess?" Suki asked, laughing. Amber, Lily and Kit started laughing as well. 

"I have to go to the library, see you guys later" Rebecca stood up and walked off. If the girls were a bit more perceptive (and weren't rolling on the ground laughing) they might have noticed the oddness of this action. 

Many hours later, after primping and hair-straightening and multiple changes of dress, the girls were ready for the Gryffindor victory party. As Lily descended the stairs she looked around the room. It was the same as every other party, a mass of bodies, the girls gyrating, trying to advertise something that they weren't willing to give. The boys trying to get the girls drunk enough for them to carry through with what they advertised. The deep beats of the music reverberated around the room, making Lily feel as if even her blood was jumping up and down. Sometimes she loved these parties, she'd be doing shots and laughing too loudly and dancing too close. But tonight she didn't feel like it. There was this nagging sensation in the back of her mind that there wasn't any real point. That all of this was transitory and that whatever happened was superficial posturing so that people could fool themselves into believing that they were cool or rebellious or even alive. 

_Oh get over yourself Lily_. So she did a shot. 

"If you are what you eat I could be you in the morning" 

"Go away Sirius" Suki stated wearily. Sirius took his hands from over her eyes and leant over her shoulder his breath caressing her neck. 

"I just can't help myself" he grinned and pulled her onto the dance floor. 

"One song- that's it" Suki said firmly. Even when she was walking into the room she could feel her resolve crumbling as she felt his eyes follow her. It might also have been the pre-party drinks that the girls had drunk in their dorm as well. 

Lily was pouring herself another glass of punch at the side of the common room and wondered whether to go save Suki or not. 

"You know the punch is spiked right?" James asked leaning on the table next to her. 

"That's the whole idea. Anyway, I wouldn't have expected anything else from a Marauder-planned party" Lily said, smirking. 

"I saw you talking to Amos today… how is the douche bag by the way?" James asked conversationally. 

"No bigger a douche bag than you" Lily retorted, while at the same time wondering why she was sticking up for Amos. 

"You shouldn't talk to him. He's an asshole" James muttered, crossing his arms over his chest, making his muscles bulge against his Rolling Stones t-shirt. Lily tried not to give him points for his music taste. 

"What business is it of yours anyway?" Lily snapped, whipping around to face him. 

"Well maybe I like you"

"What after 6 years of teasing me constantly you've suddenly realised that you're deeply in love with me?"

"Well maybe not deeply…"

"Shut up, just shut up, I don't need you to mess with my head ok? You're just like the rest of them, you'll either bore me or play me and I don't need either" Lily said in one breath, her chest heaving. 

James couldn't say anything. Her eyes were burning a hole through him and he suddenly remembered the first time he had met Lily. 

_James was sitting in a cabin with Sirius. The train was about to leave and he could see his parents standing on the platform waving at him. He felt like opening the window and shouting 'you're embarrassing me! Just leave!' but another part of him buried this image deep within himself so he could bring it out again when he was feeling lonely or homesick. Sirius was talking about a prank he had played on his brother but James wasn't really listening. He was concentrating on trying not to cry as his parents became smaller and smaller as the train sped up. Suddenly there was a knock on the door and James turned from the window, glad that he hadn't let a tear slip. _

_Into the cabin walked a little redheaded girl. Her hair was pulled into a high ponytail and her green eyes flashed around the cabin. _

"_Hi I was wondering whether I could sit in here" _

_James and Sirius exchanged a look, both contemplating the chance of them catching girl germs. _

"_Sure" James said slowly. _

"_Thanks" she said brightly, obviously relieved. Lily sat down next to James and plopped her suitcase on the floor. Sirius raised his eyebrows at James and went back to trying to make his shoes levitate while still on his feet. _

_Lily tapped James on the arm and offered him a tissue. James realised that his eyes must still be teary and blushed. _

"_Don't worry- I cried when I said goodbye to my parents too" Lily said kindly. Everything would have been different if Sirius hadn't looked up at that instance and scoffed loudly. James stiffened and pushed away Lily's hand. _

"_I wasn't crying, you loser" James snapped. Lily looked from Sirius to James and got up huffily, grabbing her suitcase. With a flick of her red ponytail she slammed the door behind her. _

James came back from memory lane just in time to see Lily walking away. Lily continued to drink her spiked punch. 

Suki and Sirius were dancing in the middle of the room and Suki was trying to remind herself that she thought that Sirius was an arrogant jerk. The bass thrummed through her body as she pressed herself against his body. Over Sirius' shoulder she could see Amber talking to three boys, miming a Quiditch play. As Sirius twirled her out and then in again Suki caught a glimpse of Rebecca talking to some fifth year girls. Suki pressed herself against Sirius' hard chest and couldn't help but let out a small sigh, though thankfully he couldn't hear because the music was so loud. 

Meanwhile, Kit was lying on the Astronomy Tower, her hair fanned out behind her head. Her silver dress lay in stark contrast to the dark stone of the floor. She wished she had worn something warmer because the stone was causing her to shiver as it pressed into her back.

"I'm sorry I didn't realise someone was up here" said a voice, causing Kit to gasp in surprise. She sat up quickly and saw Remus standing in the doorframe. 

"It's alright" Kit replied, trying to slow her heartbeat. 

"Why aren't you at the party?" he asked.

"Why aren't you?" Kit retorted, smiling.

"I guess I just needed to get away" Remus said softly. Kit studied him for a second and then lay back down on the stone, patting the space next to her. Remus lay down and sighed. 

"There's a lunar eclipse tonight" Kit stated, "that's why I'm up here". 

"I once saw a solar eclipse; that was pretty amazing" Remus whispered. 

"I think a lunar eclipse will be even more wonderful" Kit said breathlessly. 

"Why?" 

"It's an extinguishment of something that pulls the tides and dictates the flow of the Earth- what could be more extraordinary than that?" Kit asked softly. 

"But a solar eclipse is the extinguishment of a thing that gives life and energy to everything on Earth- and the fact that after a moment it returns again, but still it tempts you, with that single second of fear and uncertainty- isn't that amazing?" 

"I'm sensing you don't think much of the moon"

"We have a love/hate relationship" Remus stated wryly. Kit could feel the cold seeping into her and shivered. Remus shifted a little and put his arm around her, warming her with his body heat. Kit laid her head on his shoulder and waited for the lunar eclipse. 

"I love you!" Lily screamed throwing her arms around Suki. 

"No! I love you!" Suki yelled back. The two of them were sitting on the couch in the Gryffindor common room as a victory party raged around them. Two boys were sitting on the couch facing Lily and Suki, watching as the two girls hugged each other.

"This is the best party ever" the second year slurred to his friend. 

"Please start making out, please make out" the other said to Lily and Suki. 

"Get out of here pervs" Sirius ordered. The two second years got up quickly (yet reluctantly) and Sirius and James sat down in the recently vacated couch. 

"You!" Suki yelled, pointing at Sirius.

"Me!" Sirius said. For some reason the four of them thought that was hilarious and were rolling around laughing when James had an epiphany. 

"Let's play Spin the Bottle!" 

"That's so cliché" Suki said, which would have been quite smart if she hadn't hiccuped and fallen off the couch at the end of the sentence. 

"Hey I need a reason to kiss you without you punching me" Sirius said cheekily. 

"Let's just play those second years are circling again" Lily said, pointing at the two boys, who ran off when they realised their perving attempts had been spotted. 

James finished off his vodka bottle and placed it in the centre of the table, grinning at the other three before spinning it. As the bottle span Lily had a strange feeling of déjà vu, as if millions of other Lily's had played this game before in other fanfics. And then she thought, _what's a fanfic?_ Lily was wrenched from her thoughts by catcalls from Sirius and Suki. Looking down she discovered a bottle pointing towards her and a grinning James sitting across from her. 

"Well?" Lily asked. 

"What?" 

"You span the bottle- you have to kiss me"

"Don't you kiss me?"

"No it's the person who spun the bottle that has to do the kissing"

"Oh fine, if you insist"

James walked around the table and Lily sat on the couch feeling very strange. Through the punch haze she had this feeling that she was _nervous_ or something; which was ridiculous as its _just_ James Potter. He leaned down and pulled her up from the couch. 

"You're too short as it is" James teased and before Lily could retort his mouth was covering hers. Slowly she leaned into him, tilting her head to reach his, placing her arms around his neck. _He is definitely too good at this,_ Lily thought. 

"Ok, that's enough love birds" Sirius joked. Lily lowered her arms and glanced up at James. His eyes met hers and she had this overwhelming urge to grab him and press her mouth against his, her whole body pressing into him, breasts touching chest, arms entwined, his….

"Lily!" Suki yelled. Lily sat down and tried to control the redness that she could feel creeping all over her body. Remus, Kit, Amber and Peter joined their game. Lily spun the bottle again and it landed on Amber. 

"Yes!" shouted the second year boys. 

"No way" Lily stated- she wasn't _that _drunk. 

"I agree- Lily spin it again" Amber said. An almost imperceptible sigh of disappointment could be heard from the males nearby. Lily spun the bottle and as it slowed down Lily already knew where it was going to land. Years of cliché and expectation used its collective fanfiction power to ensure that the bottle landed on none other than James Potter. 

"Oooooo" shouted the group, their intellect having decreased with every cup of punch that they consumed. 

"That's the second time!" Sirius said, "You know what that means?"

"Oh no" muttered Lily. 

"Seven minutes in the closet" Amber declared cheekily. As James got up to go to the closet Lily sat there and glared at her friends. James Potter was her sworn enemy! Didn't her friends realise that? He was stupid and jerky and… and… poo-headed! 

"The closet awaits my love" James said, sweeping his arm towards the door. 

"Fine" Lily said crossly. Lily poured herself a shot of vodka and drank it, grimacing at the disgusting burning flavour. Lily flounced over to the door and wrenched it open, throwing her friends a last glare before going into the closet. James followed, twinkled his fingers at the group and closed the door, grinning the entire time. 

The closet was dark and Lily couldn't see the hand that she held in front of her face. Slowly she reached out and touched a body. She could hear James breathing as she ran her hand up his chest and around his neck. She couldn't really understand why she was doing this but she figured if anyone questioned her tomorrow she could blame the alcohol. James reached out and cupped her face, bringing her closer to him so that she was pressing against him. His mouth touched her lips; his fingers trailing through her hair. This urge for _more_ raced through her. More of what, she wasn't sure- she just wanted more. He kissed her jaw and then her neck. Lily leant her head back and arched her back trying to show him that if he was to kiss her neck for the rest of their lives that would be fine with her. 

"Woooooohooooooooo" yelled partygoers as Sirius wrenched open the door.

And all Lily could think was '_that could not have been seven minutes.'_

AN- For the author's boasting purposes, please review. 


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: You know the drill

Disclaimer: You know the drill.

AN- There is no excuse for me not updating since March. I'm lazy and I got bored with the story… sorry? Don't flame me!

Chapter 8

Lily woke up and her mouth felt fuzzy. She sat up and stopped suddenly, feeling the room spin around her. _Slow movements… Slow movements._

Then Lily realised something. There was a leg pressed against hers. A leg covered in hair. Big manly hairs. _Oh shit… _

Lily looked down and saw James Potter lying next to her in her bed.

Fully-clothed. _OH THANK GOD_

Lily racked her brain, trying to remember what happened after she went into the closet with James. Images slowly started trickling in through the marshmallow haze that was her brain this morning.

Her and Suki gyrating on the dancefloor on either side of Sirius- making a Sirius sandwich.

Sirius yelling and whooping for the next ten minutes.

James sulking in the corner.

Lily laughing and running up to James and pulling him onto the dancefloor.

Lily doing a "Beyonce" (shaking your whole body/booty) next to James.

Kissing James.

Staggering up the stairs.

Making out in Lily's bed.

Blackness.

_Oh God._

"So slurry, what's happening with you and James?" Suki asked grinning.

"I could ask the same to you about Sirius" Lily retorted.

"Well me and Sirius didn't stumble up to the Girl's Dormitory and pass out on a bed"

"Yeah but you did make out for a good twenty minutes in the middle of the dance floor," Amber teased.

"I felt bad for him. No other girl was drunk enough to hook up with him" Suki joked.

"Mmmhmmm" said the four other girls, clearly not believing her.

"Oh God I am dying" Lily muttered, resting her head on the Great Hall table.

"Too many shots I think" Rebecca stated.

"And you know by tomorrow the whole school is going to know about our hook-ups" Suki stated darkly.

"And we'll be glared and stalked by the James Potter and Sirius Black Fan Club" Lily moaned.

"They have a fan club?"

"Well it's really only four third year girls because they're the only ones sad enough to join"

"Huh weird"

"Is it true?" Amos asked. Lily was on her way to Advanced Potions, a class none of her friends were in.

"Um is what true?"

"That you and James made out at the Gryffindor victory party."

"Oh that." Lily said weakly, "well, yeah, it's true."

Amos huffed and walked off; mumbling what sounded something like "bad taste" and "stupid".

Lily groaned. This was about the fourth person that had come up to her and asked about her and James. Since the whole school had witnessed James' kiss with her at the Quiditch game and then the stories of them hooking up on the dance floor had made the rounds this morning, multiple bets had been placed on when they would admit they were a couple. Lily had already received several glares from Greg and could almost hear his thoughts '_we only broke up last week!!'_

Suki had also been getting some grief for her multiple Saturday night hook-ups with Sirius as the Sirius Black fan club had begun to stalk her through the corridors. Suki was one whispered insult away from ripping her hair out. Or the fan club's hair' either one.

Hogsmeade weekend came around and girls raced to shops- looking for the perfect Halloween Dance costume. The five girls were crowded into a costume shop with about 20 other girls as they desperately tried to find a good costume that wasn't too slutty or disgusting.

"Halloween is such a stressful time" Rebecca sighed.

"Why?" Suki asked.

"Well, you either look like a slut or you look like a tool, either way you lose."

"Not necessarily, you could be a slutty tool as well" Lily joked.

"What about this?" Amber asked, holding up a French maid's outfit to her body.

"Ohh very slutty- try it on!" Suki laughed.

The girls tried on multiple outfits and finally decided on their costumes. Walking out of the store they heaved sighs of relief as the squeals of "I saw that first!" faded behind them.

The Three Broomsticks was crowded as usual and the girls finally managed to grab a table using Suki's elbows and Amber's bulldozing techniques.

Three tables away the four boys were whispering over butterbeers.

"This is way too easy, you're almost there"

"You can't change the rules of the bet now"

"Yeah James is right, he's still got a challenge, Lily is notorious for dumping guys after a month or two and he has to bed her in less!"

"Fine, but I still think with the progress you've made over the weekend I might be the one walking up to McGonagall and asking her for a whipped cream banana sundae" Sirius shuddered.

The boys laughed and James tried to quench the odd feeling of guilt that crept into his mind.

Lily was in the library reading when two hands reached out and snatched the book from her. Lily gasped and looked up to find James Potter standing over her.

"The Millionaire's Mistress, huh? Sounds saucy" James teased, holding the book out of her reach.

"Come on James give it back" Lily pleaded trying to reach the book, which James held above his head and out of her 5'6 grasp.

"Not until you agree to go to the Halloween Dance with me" James stated, grinning. Lily stopped and stared at him in astonishment, her green eyes becoming impossibly wide and her mouth hanging open in shock. '_She looks so cute' _James thought.

"Um why?" Lily asked stupidly.

"Why? Maybe because I can't get your kisses out of my head. Or maybe because I like the way your nose crinkles when you're confused. Or maybe because I like the way you softly sigh while reading your sappy romance novels" James teased.

"They're not sappy" Lily muttered while pouting. Before he knew what was happening she had pushed him into a dark row of shelving and kissed him. His hands delved into her hair, feeling the silky texture as his lips moved against hers. She pressed against him, her whole body melding with his as he leaned against the library shelf. Lily pulled away, breathing heavily but smiling triumphantly.

"Thanks" Lily said, holding her book up, "we always seem to end up kissing around these romance novels, don't we?"

"I think we end up kissing no matter whether those books are near us or not" James muttered huskily.

AN- This last-ditch resuscitation attempt of this story was brought to you by the author and her continued efforts depend on your reviews.


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